Dr. Tamara Kung, ND
Taking care of our body is important, but so is tending to your relationships!
The power of our relationships, and how happy we are in those relationships influence our physical and mental health. One of the world’s longest studies on adult life and aging has amassed a huge collection of detailed data on what factors in life correlate to happiness and quality longevity. That last part is important. It’s not just living longer but doing so with a great quality of life.
Many aspects were measured. Money, fame, career status, relationships, mental health, and physical health measures like weight and cholesterol levels. One of the strongest correlations was health and happiness to relationships with family, friends, and community. People who were most satisfied with their relationships were the healthiest in their 80’s. This was a stronger predictor than cholesterol levels!
Satisfying relationships do not just mean when things are smooth and positive. Studies of couples bickering daily still show their mental health remains intact if they feel supported and could really count on others when times get tough.
The key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.
-George Valliant, psychiatrist (professor at Harvard)
We often think of health as coming from abstaining from smoking, reducing alcohol, eating well, and being physically active. But this study shows a stark absence in our valuation of relationships and the impact that our community plays on our health as well.
I often ask patients to list the qualities in others they enjoy being around and use this to guide how they allocate time spent with others who contribute to their positive relationships. Traits like passion about something, kindness, loyalty, intelligence, being open-minded, etc.
The number of friends doesn’t necessarily matter, as many of us can still feel lonely despite having lots of people around. We want to make sure we pay attention to the quality of our relationships, enjoying ones that uplift us, challenge us, and make us feel supported with a little tough love thrown in.
Your list is like your home base to help recenter your priorities when we sometimes get swept up with life. What qualities are on your list? Now go enjoy them.